On the far side of the world

I have had a low-level migraine for the past four days. That is four days of pain pulsing around my head at every moment, stabbing me every time my environment changes or I just concentrate hard. Plus the side effects. Hyper-sensitivity to sound, light and smell, meaning every loud sound hurts, every bright light makes my eyes freak out and go hazy and smells…well, lets just say I’ve thrown up over very little. Nausea comes and goes, regardless of hunger.

I have taken painkillers, I have drunk enough caffeine to kill several children and I’ve been exercising in the hope that I’ll kill it with endorphin. Also sleeping, which is now even harder than before, isn’t killing the pain. Waking up with a sore head is your body’s way of telling you not to even try. 

Hopefully it’ll get bored soon and go away. If not, well, I’m about to start working for doctors; let’s see it deal with that!

I really don’t like giving out bad news. Bleh. Really really really don’t like. I will put that shit off unless I have to. 

So I had to finally talk to Sarah about the possibility of her moving out after her lease ends. 

The thing is, I think it’s time to move on. I like having her as a tennant; she laid back and nice and pays on time. But to be honest, I can be hard too. She’s messy and none of my attempts to get us to keep the flat tidy have worked. She and I don’t have very strong communications, which is my fault for being too anxious to complain or be anything less than totally happy (‘oh no it’s totally cool you broke my only noodle bowl, I can just get a new one in whatever next few months I can afford one’). This: MY fault. On the other hand, she’s in a pretty good situation and she’s been pretty lax about it. When I moved in, I was 18 and she was 21 and had lived in flats for years. I was pretty much sure I was gonna be the messy, unreliable one. The fact is, while I totally let her be this way…she is this way. I don’t know if this is an arrangement I could really ever change after two years. 

So I talked to her about it. Not at all well, more in a stammer and then blamed it all on mum. I need a backbone, seriously. One day I will snap and then I will call out everyone to the slightest fault (like I do with Matt. He is like my only bitch release. He takes it pretty much in his stride, he understand. Maybe. I make up for it.) I will talk to those people I know who can do awesome stuff like just say ‘dude, the time has come for us to move our separate ways, I know we had a good thing here, but I need to try something new, and I think this’ll be the right thing to do’. Like mum. Eventually I shall inherit this ability.

If karma rebounds on my because of this, then at least it will give me a chance to actually speak up about problems. I’ll learn. Hopefully.

Or else I’ll abandon my scary flat and take up Dom’s offer to move to Denniston. That’ll  work…. 

Happy Geek

Writing up important dates for the month on my Discworld calendar, with a Doctor Who pen….

Makes me smile. 

The Winter’s Tale, rewrite!

setting: retirement home, comfortable and calm, silent nurses, large windows etc.

Leontes, an old man, is being visited by a childhood friend, Polixenes.

Leontes’ wife is also visiting, as she does every day. She has brought their grown up son with her, and pictures of their daughter, who lives abroad.

Leontes, old and senile, is refusing to take his medication, because it makes him feel ill. His paranoia and other mental conditions worsen, and he begins to forget things. After begging his friend not to leave him and to stay with him in this place he does not recognise, his wife finally steps in and convinces Polixenes that he might be able to convince Leontes to go back on his medication if he stays. Leontes begins to suspect that the two are plotting against him and in his rage and confusion forces them to leave, stating that his daughter is actually Polixenes and thus disowning her, saying he never wants to see her, his wife or Polixenes again. The nurses and staff try to calm him and convince him otherwise, but he is stubborn and attempts to bribe a doctor to put medication in Polixenes’ drink. The doctor refuses and tells Polixenes and Hermione. Hermione, worried that her daughter will suffer, asks the doctor to do a dna test to prove Perdita’s heritage. Leontes refuses to believe it. On the drive away from the home, Maxillius crashes the car, dying and putting his mother in hospitable. Leontes is mistakenly told that both his wife and son have died and is filled with grief. One of the nurses (Antigonus) tries to contact his daughter, and gives her address to Polixenes son, who flies out to find her. The two hit it off and begin to have feelings for each other on the way back. Polixenes, angry at his son for disappearing and bringing back a woman, follows them. When they come back to the home, Leontes recognizes his daughter, and she convinces him to take his medication. Leontes, slowly getting better, asks about funeral arrangements for his wife and son. At this point the doctor informs him that his wife has recovered, and she visits him. Fin.  

Happy days!

Did not rain today.

Bought books with my food money.

Happy happy days!